Confessions Of A Complicated Love-A-Holic

Yes, I am a complicated person.

As someone once told me, people can easily fall in love with me but it would take a greater amount of effort to keep on doing so. And yet, as I recently found out, there are still quite a number of people who are very much willing to take the risk and go the extra mile, which I find very comforting.

But what really makes me complicated? Let me give you a quick rundown so please indulge me a little. Anyway, you always have the option to close this window if you find this, for a lack of better term, “uninteresting for your taste”.

I easily fall in love if I’m extremely attracted to someone. I tend to overlook a lot of standards, which causes me (more often than not) tragic heartaches. Basically, that list I came up with a long time ago of people my ‘type’ goes out the window. AND YET, when I’m NOT attracted to someone, I don’t have the guts to tell him off. I usually wait for their interest to wither away. Good or bad? You tell me.

I can get ‘clingy’ to a fault. I tend to be possessive, ridiculously jealous, unbelievably paranoid and demanding. I would want to find someone to that I would go gaga over with and vice versa. I want to go crazy loving that person and not even think about anything else, at least for the first few months. Let’s deal with talking about the future of the relationship when we actually get there.

I am emotional. Very! I rarely fight with my partner and whenever I do I usually end up saying things that I would later on regret. And when he fights back, I cry. Just cry. I can be pissed one moment for certain things he does or does not do and then be utterly sweet the next. Yeah, call me crazy but that’s just who I am.

I have a lot of pet peeves. I hate waiting, people who don’t value time. I hate being late. I hate liars, addicts, nonchalance, and arrogance. I hate inconsiderate people. I hate fashion faux pas. I hate reckless drivers. I hate taxi drivers who scam. I hate tax. I hate corrupt politicians who pretend to care. I hate squatters. I hate people who don’t do their job well and yet pretend they’re overworked. I hate most of my colleagues. I hate bastards and jerks who woo you to believe they’re “the one.” I hate pretensions. I hate lousy service. I hate people who take too long to order in a fast food. I hate people who comment on things they know nothing about. I hate crowded bars. I hate people who have no regard for other people’s feelings. I hate pasosyal and maarte bitches. I hate pa-cool guys. I hate eating alone in a restaurant; it makes me feel like a loser. From escalators that don’t work to stupid people whose stupidity isn’t funny, the list goes on.

I am a self-proclaimed hopeless-romantic. I dream of romantic dates by the beach or a picnic in a garden that would blow my mind away, but I’ve become jaded recently. There are a lot of “great almosts” out there. I still believe in happy ever after though. I believe that happiness is a series of correct choices. I want someone who would understand me even if I talk in circles that make no sense. I love holding hands under the table and little things that would make me remember, like a particular scent or a remarkable moment. I love surprises. I love little trinkets of appreciation. I love long talks and long walks. I love a great conversation. I love magic on the first meeting. I love intimacy and passion. I love sex. I love being in love.

I am picky. I am very particular from my clothes, my food, my coffee, to my friends and dates.

I am eclectic when it comes to listening to music. I have almost 6000 songs in my iPod from Opera to jologs OPM… and still growing.

I love trivia and discovering new things. I am willing to try anything once. I hate clichés.

In this cynical world we live in, we can only dream of the day when we meet one person that can turn out more than you expect. I am turning 27 and all I ask is to care and love someone until then of my days. But I guess nowadays, it’s much, much harder to find.

The significant other that’s as much complicated as I am and won’t mind going that extra mile to make it work.